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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

“Succumbing to Lesbian Stereotypes”

Miss-Adventures: A Hapless Helpless Hopeless Dater Happy Lesbian Cliché

Conversation with a gay friend recently:

Me: What’s going on with you and [man friend]?

Friend: No word on whether he wants to be boyfriends, but we're dating.  Dude, I'm such a lesbian.  I pretty much know if someone's a good fit, after initially meeting them, or by the second date.  It's like pulling teeth with men.  You gotta give them space, or they run towards the hills.

Me:  I'm not good at dating more than one person at a time.  I'm not even good at dating just one person at a time!  I’m, like, can we just skip the dating part and start planning the wedding??

Friend:  FUCK. Right??  I don't have time for this coy shit. DO YOU WANT ME OR NOT!!???? WELL???!!!! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!  But I digress…

Me: I get it. Who wants to keep 'dating' and fucking around for the rest of their lives?  What would be the point?  I mean, I don't mind dating, as long as I know it's headed somewhere. It's ok to take your time so long as you know that there's something deeper developing.

Friend: EXACTLY!!!!

Which leads me to these questions: Why is wanting a commitment (or rushing towards commitment) an inherently “lesbian” trait?  Why is being certain about someone a lesbian cliché? 

Which leads me to this announcement (for those of you not already in the know): Glamazon and Miss-Adventures have officially U-Hauled.  See what I mean?  It’s such a lesbian cliché that, what was initially a punch-line to a joke, is now used as a commonplace verb for moving in together.  And if any of you are interested: yes, it’s going exceedingly well.  Domesticity with Glamazon fits me like a glove, boys and girls.

[This one's for you, "B2".  I know you've been waiting with bated breath.  Thanks for reading with such enthusiasm!]

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