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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

And Now Presenting Your Co-Host...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's me! The Nugget! I'm here to regale you with my dating tales while Miss Adventures traverses the scary, scary land that is Real Life.
Let me just get you up to speed in one paragraph or less: I've dated women for the past 13 years. I've recently discovered that, thanks to my naturally picky nature, I've dated ALL of the women. So, well, I guess boys can be cute, right? So, I tried it out. Went on some bad dates (once, a drunk date spit popcorn in my hair as he was whispering in my ear, "I am the 1%." You can't make this stuff up). Almost gave up. Found a boyfriend. He was awesome until he wasn't. Now I'm back in the dating pool, and holy cow, I wish I had some dating water wings, because I'm 4'11" and this pool is DEEP. Let's dive in, shall we?
Not one to waste any time, I went on my first date last night. With a dude. Let me tell you the things I learned from him:
  1. The political platform of every Republican candidate since 1980.
  2. The ins and outs of Obamacare...intimately.
  3. The three ways to effectively break a Kryptonite bike lock.
  4. How to link up cheap home computers with added peripherals to create a makeshift server.
  5. The proper way to create a large, cheap, easy to transport structure at Burning Man.
  6. The demographics of those that attend Burning Man.
  7. The incidence rate of indecent exposure at Burning Man.
  8. The incidence rate of feline renal failure in indoor-only house cats.
Let me tell you the things he learned from me:
  1. I have a cat.
  2. I take casual carpool to work.
I have been called many things in my life, but "quiet" and "boring" are two things that have never been said about me...to my face. Allow me to give you a tip out there, daters of the world: If her eyes are glazed over and/or you realize you've already forgotten what her voice sounds like, shut. up. You're talking WAY too much. 

2 comments:

  1. Well, I mean, I think he had pretty eyes, but I forget since I spent most of the date in a comatose state.

    ReplyDelete