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Friday, December 7, 2012

Surviving Christmas: A Single Girl's Rant

Fuck you, Holiday Season.  Yep, I said it.  (Oh the horror!)  And because it felt so good to say it once, I'm gonna say it again.  Fuck you, Holiday Season.
Fuck your fucking holiday themed commercials, your glossy magazine adverts showing family members coming together over carols and eggnog and your goddamned fucking jewelry commercials.  Ohmygod.  The jewelry store commercials!  One would think everyone in the world is getting engaged over the holidays.
Ok, I'm bitter.  I'm usually bitter during the holiday season, but this year… I'm ready to take hostages.  The holiday season is considered the most romantic season of the year; it's filled with nostalgia, images of family togetherness, fireplaces adorned with hanging stockings, snuggles with your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/life partner under a blanket in front of a fire.  And why wouldn't it be considered the most romantic season of the year?  Everywhere you look the entire town is decorated in flattering mood-lighting.  Rude.
So why am I bitter?  Because those romantic images serve as promises that are, year after year, unfulfilled.  Because, godddamn it, I already went to the jewelry store this year and bought a fucking engagement ring.  Because I was promised a romantic holiday season by my fiancé who then stole my sweet, yet fragile heart and replaced it with the cold, black, dead one that currently pumps venom through my veins.  Because as New Year's Eve fast approaches, I find myself in a mad rush to find a date and to get a midnight kiss.  And because I know that as quickly as the holiday season has come, it will soon pass and I will find that this single girl's other dreaded holiday is banging down my door… Motherfucking Valentine's Day.
So how does an embittered single girl survive the holiday season?  I'm fucked if I know but here's what I plan to do/not do:
I will not find solace in alcohol, and I will not get inebriated at parties and make a total fool of myself.
I will not drink alone.
Much as I'd like to try, I will not completely ignore Christmas and New Year's.  
Even if it is my natural tendency to do so, I will not isolate myself.
Though I still miss and love my ex girlfriend (despite my best efforts to quash those feelings), I will carry through these holidays with my dignity in tact.  Read: I will not drunk text, drunk dial or send drunken emails to my ex girlfriend.
I will give in, acknowledge the holiday season for what it is, put my game face on, celebrate these wretched holidays with friends and family and suck it up, even if all I want to do is park my fat ass on the couch and cry to myself while snuggled up with my two furry monsters. 
And lastly, I won't give in to the thinking that being single during the holiday season is the end of the world.  Because, despite all of Kay's, Jared's and Zales' evil master plan to convince me otherwise, the holiday season is not about whether or not I have a girlfriend or fiancé.  It's about acknowledging the blessings that I do have in my life, and not giving into the black hole that threatens to consume me every day because of what I've lost in the past year.

1 comment:

  1. As someone whose family should be taken out to a remote site, shot, tossed into a pit and dirt shoveled on whether they are dead or not, you are missing a golden opportunity here to enjoy the holidays however YOU want with no compromises.

    That said, eff Christmas and the camel it rode in on.